Funny Poems

Poems are great but funny poems about finishing your working life are even better.  Especially when it is being read in front of a group of people.  There are some funny already written poems out there that you may find will work fine for what you have in mind.  Or you may find writing your own using specific details about the honouree may be a better fit.



Retirement - Its all in how you play the game, isnít it?

Let's see now. How will I know when I am a senior.


Some places give me a senior's discount at 55, some at 60 and some at 65.

My government pension will be sent to me when I am 65.

My company will arbitrarily retire me at 65. (I'm going to beat them to the punch and retire at 60.)

So that means that parts of our society think 'senior' begins at 55.

How will I personally know?

Well, with a little bit of luck, I don't think I'll ever know.

It's all in how you play the game, isn't it?

Author Unknown

Life is mostly froth and bubble.

Two things stand like stone:

Dodging duty at the double,

Leaving work alone.

Author Unknown

An Ode to Old Age

There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,

And life doesn't begin at 40.

That's a big fat lie.

My hair's getting thinner, my body is not:

The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.

I smell of Vick's Vapo Rub, not Chanel #5;

My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.

When asked of my past, every detail I'll know,

But, what was I doing 10 minutes ago?

Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?

I'm off to read the obituary, like I do every day;

If my names there, I'll once again start -

perfecting the art of falling apart.

Author Unknown


You may find these poems to be helpful when trying to write your own.  There may be a verse in one of them that you want to use in yours.  Feel free to take what you need to these poems or use them as they are.  You may also find this is a great way to send your retirement wishes.



Retirement Wishes.....Quotes.....Poems.....Funny Poems.....Congratulations Words

Our Friends.....Phrases.....Toasts.....Songs.....Greetings.....Sentiments.....Advice

Simple Retirement Calculator.....How To Retire Early.....How Much Do I Need To Retire

Happy Retirement.....Retirement Humor.....Aging Quotes.....What To Do When You Retire.....Books

Sayings.....Jokes.....Gifts.....How To Plan A Retirement Dinner.....Cards.....Sayings Of Congratulations

Quotes On Starting Over.....Quotes On Achieving Goals.....Quotes On Getting Older.....Sayings On Change


Additional Funny Poems:


The Retiree's Creed:

Early to Bed

Sleep in late

Collect your pension

Ain't life great!

Author Unknown