Poems are great
but funny poems about finishing your working life are even better. Especially when it is being
read in front of a group of people. There are some funny already
written poems out there that you may find will work fine for what you
have in mind. Or you may find writing your own using specific details
about the honouree may be a better fit.
Retirement - Its all in how you play the
game, isnít it?
Let's see now. How will I know when I am a
Some places give me a senior's discount at
55, some at 60 and some at 65.
My government pension will be sent to me
when I am 65.
My company will arbitrarily retire me at 65.
(I'm going to beat them to the punch and retire at 60.)
So that means that parts of our society
think 'senior' begins at 55.
How will I personally know?
Well, with a little bit of luck, I don't
think I'll ever know.
It's all in how you play the game, isn't it?
Life is mostly froth and bubble.
Two things stand like stone:
Dodging duty at the double,
Leaving work alone.
An Ode to Old Age
There's quite an art to falling apart as the
years go by,
And life doesn't begin at 40.
That's a big fat lie.
My hair's getting thinner, my body is not:
The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.
I smell of Vick's Vapo Rub, not Chanel #5;
My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.
When asked of my past, every detail I'll
But, what was I doing 10 minutes ago?
Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?
I'm off to read the obituary, like I do
If my names there, I'll once again start -
perfecting the art of falling apart.
You may find these poems to
be helpful when trying to write your own. There may be a verse in one
of them that you want to use in yours. Feel free to take what you need
to these poems or use them as they are. You may also find this is a
great way to send your retirement wishes.