Funny Quotes


Retirement is a great thing especially when you have funny quotes to make you laugh. So, we have compiled some quotes here for you hoping that they will make you laugh too! They could be used in a card or letter to send as part of your wishes.



When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you. 
Gene Perret

If you have a significant other than this quote is true for you! This is even more true if your significant other is your wife. Most women like to take over so when their husbands join them in retirement, its their change to be the boss!

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.
Author Unknown

Well this is definitely one to keep in mind if you are not retired yet. You may be getting close to retirement but that doesnít mean you are retired. So keep working hard and your chosen retirement will be here before you know it!

In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon.
Author Unknown

I think unless you absolutely love coffee, why drink it during retirement at all? This is your time to be lazy if you want, why need caffeine?

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
Jonathan Clements

Okay, so we all want to be retired, but we donít realize that most people are on a fixed income during retirement which is significantly lower than what they are use to having. So as much as we hope retireeís can go out and do anything they want, this might not be possible. But money isnít everything. You can still make your dreams come true with a little bit of saving or creativity!

Retirement is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime having done only half of it.
Author Unknown

Retirement is not for schedules and deadlines! Doing half of nothing sounds great to me!

In retirement, I look for days off from my days off.
Mason Cooley

Even in retirement everyone needs a day of once in a while. Donít be afraid to leave your life behind for a nice vacation or road trip.

Fishing Yesterday, Fishing Today, Fishing Tomorrow I must be retired
Author Unknown

If you like to fish or gold or whatever, do it as much or as little as you want. That is what retirement is for. To enjoy the things you love to the fullest, or at least until you get sick of it!!

We hope you have found these quotes to be somewhat comical as we did. Retirement is definitely not a joke, but like everything else in life, there are funny moments about it. We hope you are laughing on your retirement and making the most of a great situation.


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