Iíve always found jokes to be a great addition to any speech or toast.  I suppose you could always write them in a card or letter with your wishes, but I just donít think it gives the same effect as being told out loud in front of the retireeís family and friends.



The only problem is, retirement jokes are hard to find. Yes there are a few out there, which are told over and over again.  But when youíve been to one retirement party, youíve been to them all and after a while, some new content is bound to be needed. 

So how do we get new and unique retirement jokes?  We write them ourselves!!  The best jokes I find are the ones that are written about the retiring individual.  Without being mean or out to embarrass the retiree (because it is there day after all and we are here to celebrate them, not break them down and humiliate them!) jokes written around the retiree can make for some hilarious jokes! 

If you havenít ever written a joke before, you may be a little intimidated.  No one wants to get up there in front of crowd of people to tell a joke and have no body laugh.  Some people are naturals at it.  They can make people laugh without even thinking about it.  But if youíre like me, we need to rehearse and practice and be committed to getting a laugh out of these people.  But most importantly, we need to be confident!  If you arenít confident about what you are saying, it will show and things will not go as planned.

The best way to write your own joke and to think of the retiree.  Is there something about this person that makes you question how his/her retirement will go?  For example, every morning at work, does Jane spill coffee on their shirt?  If so,

One thing we will be sure of during Janeís retirement, she wonít have to worry about burns anymore as coffee wonít be such an necessity!

Or maybe John loved to take breaks, even during working hours.

John, we have to wonder, are you going to take as many breaks during your retirement?

As you can see, writing jokes about someone doesnít have to be mean, they should be tasteful, nothing embarrassing and should just be teasing someone about their routine or clumsiness.  They donít have to be long, just quick and painless.  They should be about something everyone knows about, not a inside joke.  It may be funny to you and the retiree, but the rest of the group will feel left out.  Jokes like that should be saved for a card or letter of congratulations.


We hope you have found our tips on how to write your own jokes helpful.  As you can see, they can be simple and about everyday life.  You just need make it relate to their retirement in some way.  Keep it short and keep it simple!  Donít be unruly and donít forget to congratulate the retiree on their soon to be retired life!



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